The Dirty Diaper

On Thursday, USA Today published a report that the NSA has apparently built a database of phone records of calls made from land lines, cell phones and businesses across the country since September 11, 2001, and did so with the help of AT&T, Verizon, and Bell South.

George Bush responded to the legitimacy of the database. “Al-Qaeda is our enemy, and we want to know their plans," he said. And you’re going to find those plans in a database of phone calls made in the United States? The last time I checked, Al-Qaeda did most of their business out of the middle east.

Our government has for decades boasted the best intelligence on the planet. But instead of using that intelligence to find the man who killed 3,000 people, the government is trying to find out if Jenny Teenager can provide clues to his whereabouts when she tells her best friend Marsha that Vince is the hottest and she can’t wait to go to prom with him because he’s so cool and drives and ohmuhgawd did she see what Angie was wearing today at school what a complete tramp and she hopes she makes the cheerleading squad.

"We are not mining or trolling through the personal lives of innocent Americans,” Bush said.

That is exactly what they are doing. If the USA Today report is correct, the NSA is building a database of phone records that would allow them to go back and see patterns of phone activity if any phone number is linked to an enemy of the United States, or if anyone does have a problem with Vince taking Jenny to the prom.

Osama Bin Laden is the most wanted man in history, and the best our intelligence community can do is keep track of phone calls. That’s like trying to catch a minnow with tweezers when you own a fishing net.

Republican Senator Arlen Specter, the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee, said he would call on phone company executives to appear before the panel “to find out exactly what is going on.” Sure. And those telecommunication execs will burst with information. Just like the oil execs caved when you demanded to know why they were making so much money. Because, you know, that type of activity is not allowed in this country. Sorry, Arlen, but you’re just saving your big, smelly elephant’s face.

What I find more amusing is that this is supposed to be a secret. No one is supposed to know about this activity. Just the fact that this has leaked to the public further proves the absurdity of it. Perhaps they have the phone number of the person who did it.

posted by Windel  # 12:29 PM