The Dirty Diaper
Because the web is full of it.Wednesday, May 24, 2006
If Only They Spent As Much To Find My Keys
From MSNBC.com on Wednesday, May 24, 2006
”MILFORD TOWNSHIP, Mich. - An excavating machine on Wednesday began ripping chunks out of a barn on a horse farm where dozens of FBI agents and others have been searching for the remains of former Teamsters boss Jimmy Hoffa since last week.
“The farm was once owned by a Hoffa associate and is located not far from where the former Teamsters chief vanished in 1975. No trace of Hoffa has ever been found, and no one has ever been charged in the case.
And they’re spending taxpayer dollars to do this.
Instead of searching for the man responsible for the deaths of 3,000 men and women only five years ago, the FBI has enough time and enough of our money to search for a man who disappeared 30 years ago.
So what happens if they find the body?
The government will spend another umpteen gazillion dollars checking DNA to see if it’s really Hoffa, then do forensics to see how he died, then take another decade to investigate who killed Hoffa because he probably didn’t just walk into that shallow, freshly dug grave, finally figuring out that the man or woman who killed Hoffa has been dead for several years, then exhuming that pile of bones to see if he or she died of unnatural causes, then writing a 9,000 page report that some congressional committee will be formed to read and report on and edit for public use while avoiding disclosing any secret grave digging techniques, then publishing it and allowing Geraldo Rivera to interview Hoffa’s murderer’s late nephew’s sister who dated a guy “from New Joisee” who saw Hoffa about three months before Hoffa died and has a foot locker underneath his bed with a combination lock that he doesn’t have the combination to so Rivera can blow it up on live, primetime television, to find a sock and bottle of 40 year-old scotch that Rivera will guzzle like there’s no tomorrow and grow two moustaches, then be interviewed by Access Hollywood who will give a sneak peek at the new film starring John Travolta as Oprah Winfrey and Tom Cruise’s love child, Tomoprahwincru (pronounced “Couchjumper” in Scientologyland), in a remake of “Lord Of The Teamsters: The Story Of Jimmy Hoffa,” based on the truthiness of Jimmy “Distant Memory” Frey’s memoir titled, “A Million Little Pieces Of Words Alljumbledtogether In Myheadithurtssomuchwhiteheatjimmycagneytopoftheworldma.”
All the while child molesters, rapists, drug dealers, and crooked politicians are alive and well and continuing to do their business every day.
Priorities. Ain’t they a bitch?
Archives
April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 February 2007 April 2007 August 2007 September 2007 November 2007 December 2007 September 2008 October 2008
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]